There are obviously a lot of things that have made me cry during my life - things that have made me wonder how life can be so cruel - things that have made me wish I could stop time from passing. I don't know which event to put to the top of that list of things, but sitting on the bed of my empty room in Wada 3 on the last day of UWC is somewhere up there.
"It sounds like an illusion, and more often than not has also felt like it. Listening to guitars in different languages, dancing under flags from six different continents, watching the neon purple sun set right below your window and taking a 36-hour train across the country all sounds like some cliché roadtrip movie, before you remember that for the past two years, that’s been your life", I wrote to this blog on the 50-day mark before graduation. Writing that post felt particularly absurd, because I remember clearly the day I started it. I remember the Facebook post I wrote, with my shaking hands, an hour after I had been informed of my scholarship. I remember the months leading up to my departure, the expectations and dreams and plans of how I will fill this blog with all that cliché roadtrip stuff.
"UWC is a time warp", said our head of academics to us on the morning of graduation.
It's a time warp you live in for two years, while you expect things back home to stay the same. You expect yourself to stay the same; perhaps not from a political or self-growing kind of perspective, but from deep within, you expect the same you to be there and fit into the same puzzle that was there when you first left your homecountry.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), that is not the case. The time warp eventually bursts, and you fly back in to reality. Into a world where you sometimes find yourself not fitting in anymore.
They said UWC was a place of stepping out of your comfort zone, and maybe at first it was; but ironically, real life has now become that place of challenge and unfamiliar situations.
So UWC ended, and it's taken a while for me to grasp that. A while for me to figure out what to do next. A while for me to get to some sort of a rhythm. I feel as thought when UWC ended was when I realized what it was. I had always hated the MUWCI accommodation, but when I graduated, I suddenly realized that there's purpose in giving up comfort for those two years. It forces you to focus on other things in life, that perhaps, matter more than a soft bed.
Starting UWC was a step to the unknown, but finishing UWC was a step back to another unknown. You thought you were going to find yourself there, but in reality you lose yourself so that you can start real life building a better version of that naive high school student you were two years ago. UWC does not really make you a ready person, it just prepares you to one day become one.
To the batch of 2018, there have been and will be days when all you want to do is go home; days when you even regret coming at all. All I can say is that when I stood on the parking lot in the end of my two years, I would have given anything in the world to spend one more day on the hill with my batch.
Because before you realize, the people you once shared every single day with are scattered around the world again. Just like before these two years; except that before, you were just strangers, and now you are people who changed each others' lives. People always ask me what was the best part about UWC, and I can hands down say it was the people. After UWC, you feel like you have not only known people from 60 different cultures, but like you have lived in all of those places for a split second.
Two years ago, I started this blog, and though the hectic weeks in UWC did not allow me to update everyone on everything, I hope I was able to give the slightest glimpse into what it was like. My first post was full of cringe-worthy idealism, and though a part of that idealism has vanished upon an increasing amount of information and thus humility about the world, UWC did make me more equipped to work towards a world where I could reach that same level of idealism again. Two years ago I started this blog with no clue of how to do anything about the issues we face today; today I am finishing this blog with still no clue, but a bit more motivation.
(c) Arunima Jamwal
It's been 82 days since 638 days of India. 82 days of stumbling, searching, not knowing what to do - 82 days of re-integrating back into my own culture. 82 days of what they call "normal life". 82 days since UWC ended. 82 days of "how was India?", and 82 days of not knowing where to begin.
"It sounds like an illusion, and more often than not has also felt like it. Listening to guitars in different languages, dancing under flags from six different continents, watching the neon purple sun set right below your window and taking a 36-hour train across the country all sounds like some cliché roadtrip movie, before you remember that for the past two years, that’s been your life", I wrote to this blog on the 50-day mark before graduation. Writing that post felt particularly absurd, because I remember clearly the day I started it. I remember the Facebook post I wrote, with my shaking hands, an hour after I had been informed of my scholarship. I remember the months leading up to my departure, the expectations and dreams and plans of how I will fill this blog with all that cliché roadtrip stuff.
I guess it's safe to say now that I was quite naive about the reality of it, as most people are. UWC is amazing and unbelievable and full of things that people only dream of achieving at such young age, but it's also full of things that are not so nice. Days that are harder you could have imagined and weeks that seem to be filled with academic global politics articles, when all you wanted was to travel with your new edgy international friends. UWC is amazing, but UWC is a tough school. Most of all, it blurs your concept of reality quite well; for two years, you are surrounded by people who think the same way as you and share the same interests as you. It creates an illusion of a united world, which can be amazingly intriguing, with all of its politically stimulating conversations and challenging service projects, but makes return to real life quite a shock.
Because once you go back to "normal life", people - most likely - won't be interested in discussing politics at breakfast or hearing what you think about a specific philosophical theory that actually does not ring any sort of bell in their head. And you can't really blame them, but it's hard to adapt to a situation where you are so in between two different worlds - neither of which can ever understand the other. To me, finding people with that same passion has been one of the hardest parts of coming home.
"UWC is a time warp", said our head of academics to us on the morning of graduation.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), that is not the case. The time warp eventually bursts, and you fly back in to reality. Into a world where you sometimes find yourself not fitting in anymore.
They said UWC was a place of stepping out of your comfort zone, and maybe at first it was; but ironically, real life has now become that place of challenge and unfamiliar situations.
So UWC ended, and it's taken a while for me to grasp that. A while for me to figure out what to do next. A while for me to get to some sort of a rhythm. I feel as thought when UWC ended was when I realized what it was. I had always hated the MUWCI accommodation, but when I graduated, I suddenly realized that there's purpose in giving up comfort for those two years. It forces you to focus on other things in life, that perhaps, matter more than a soft bed.
Starting UWC was a step to the unknown, but finishing UWC was a step back to another unknown. You thought you were going to find yourself there, but in reality you lose yourself so that you can start real life building a better version of that naive high school student you were two years ago. UWC does not really make you a ready person, it just prepares you to one day become one.
To the batch of 2018, there have been and will be days when all you want to do is go home; days when you even regret coming at all. All I can say is that when I stood on the parking lot in the end of my two years, I would have given anything in the world to spend one more day on the hill with my batch.
Because before you realize, the people you once shared every single day with are scattered around the world again. Just like before these two years; except that before, you were just strangers, and now you are people who changed each others' lives. People always ask me what was the best part about UWC, and I can hands down say it was the people. After UWC, you feel like you have not only known people from 60 different cultures, but like you have lived in all of those places for a split second.
Two years ago, I started this blog, and though the hectic weeks in UWC did not allow me to update everyone on everything, I hope I was able to give the slightest glimpse into what it was like. My first post was full of cringe-worthy idealism, and though a part of that idealism has vanished upon an increasing amount of information and thus humility about the world, UWC did make me more equipped to work towards a world where I could reach that same level of idealism again. Two years ago I started this blog with no clue of how to do anything about the issues we face today; today I am finishing this blog with still no clue, but a bit more motivation.
(c) Arunima Jamwal
Hei! Kiitos blogistasi, sitä on ollut mahtavaa lukea. Olen itse hakemassa UWC:hen tänä talvena, osaatko antaaa minulle jotain vinkkejä hakuprosessiin? Mihin kannattaa panostaa? Entä millaisia "extra curricular activities" sinulla oli ennen Intiaa, ja millaisia kouluarvosanoja? Mikä tahansa apu tulisi tarpeen;)
VastaaPoista